Friday, January 13, 2017

Under Hill, By Water Post 3: Anarcho Capitalism


They do not and did not understand or like machines more complicated than a forge-bellows, a water-mill, or a hand-loom, though they were skillful with tools.

When generating a character (player character or otherwise), roll on this handy chart to determine their profession. 

If you are creating a PC, this job title becomes your eighth skill. Your rank in that skill determines how much wealth you generate during the winter phrase. Roll that skill when you think your proficiency with your chosen profession would serve you better than making an attribute test. 

You begin the game with the gear listed on the table. Goods created by your profession may be bought by you for half price. If no production, you can get hirelings or perks at half cost. 

Roll d50

  1. Actor | Gain wooden sword (as club), disguise kit, mirror 
  2. Antiquarian | Gain swordcane, book of family history, quill, ink
  3. Barber-Chirugeon| Gain razor (as dagger), needle and thread, tongs
  4. Blacksmith | Gain hammer, a forge outside your hole 
  5. Bounder | Gain dwarven short sword, dwarf chain shirt, spyglass 
  6. Brewer | Gain mash paddle (as staff), empty bottle, small cask of ale (rich) 
  7. Butcher | Gain meathook (as ax), rations of dried meat (3), pet giant rabbit
  8. Carpenter |Gain saw (as ax), drill, nails, mallet
  9. Chandler | Gain candlestick (as club), candles (6), soap
  10. Clerk | Gain quill-trimming knife, blank book, quill, ink
  11. Cook | Gain rolling pin (as club), lard, cookpots
  12. Cooper | Gain crowbar (as club), small empty barrel, 50' of rope
  13. Courier | Gain walking staff, bird broach, bird whistle
  14. Farmer | Gain pitchfork (as spear), excellent tobacco, pet giant chicken 
  15. Farrier | Gain hammer, nails, saddle, pet pony
  16. Fletcher | Gain bow and 20 arrows, pet raven 
  17. Fisher | Gain net, fishing gear, tinderbox
  18. Gardener | Gain scythe, garlic (2), wolfsbane (2)
  19. Glassblower | Gain iron pipe, empty bottle, mirror, viewing orb
  20. Greengrocer | Gain sling and acorns, sack of cabbages, pet cat
  21. Haberdasher | Gain scissors (as dagger), bag full of buttons (as caltrops), needle and thread
  22. Hole-digger | Gain miner's pick, shovel, and 30' of rope
  23. Hunter | Gain bow and 10 arrows, camouflage winter-proof cloak, personal tent
  24. Knacker | Gain cleaver (as hand-axe), shovel, soap
  25. Landlord | Gain club, key to tavern 
  26. Leech | Gain pestle (as club), smelling salts, herbal poultice
  27. Locksmith | Gain crowbar (as club), lock and key, specialist's kit
  28. Lumberjack | Gain woodsman's ax (as battle axe), 50' of rope
  29. Mason | Gain hammer, chisel, block and tackle
  30. Methier | Gain knife, thick gloves, bottle of mead (rich), pet bee
  31. Midwife (woman only) | Gain silver knife, vial of holy water, herbal poultice 
  32. Miller | Gain rolling pin (as club), mallet, nails, bag of flour
  33. Minstrel | Gain elven short sword, lute, torch (3)
  34. Moneylender | Gain mace, scales, an IOU for [rank]d4 silver 
  35. Peat-cutter | Gain shovel, 10' pole, lantern, flask of oil
  36. Potter | Gain sling and potsherds, jar of clay, pottery studio/kiln outside of hole
  37. Rat-catcher | Gain club, sack, pet dog
  38. Rope-maker | Gain sling, 50' of rope, grappling hook
  39. Servant | Gain dagger, extravagant clothing, silver bell
  40. Shepherd | Gain sling, pan pipes, pet sheep 
  41. Sherrif | Gain quarterstaff, hat with tall feather, manacles  
  42. Tailor | Gain scissors (as dagger), needle and thread, extravagant clothing
  43. Tanner | Gain flensing knife, bag of salt, leather armor 
  44. Tax Collector | Gain dwarven short sword, chest, lock and key
  45. Town Drunk (a paid position) | Gain bottle of whiskey (decent), empty bottle, set of dice
  46. Truffler | Gain sling, really good mushrooms (3), pet pig
  47. Wainwright | Gain whip, wagon, pet pony
  48. Weaver | Gain quarterstaff, bottles of dye (3, any), banner of favorite tavern's sign
  49. Well-digger | Gain shovel, dowsing rod, 10' pole
  50. Whitesmith |  Gain hammer, bag of pretty but trifling jewels, ring that's almost magic
Optional Rule: You may elect to not roll Sweat dice to gain more Sweat when you rank up. If you do so, you may roll a d6. If you roll higher than your current score in your profession, raise that skill by 1. 

Many profession ideas stolen from: TenFootPolemic, GoblinPunch, Dungeon Crawl Classics

The houses and the holes of Shire-hobbits were often large, and inhabited by large families. (Bilbo and Frodo Baggins were as bachelors very exceptional, as they were also in many other ways, such as their friendship with the Elves.) ... All Hobbits were, in any case, clannish and reckoned up their relationships with great care. They drew long and elaborate family-trees with innumerable branches.

Roll d66 to find an appropriate family name. Note the gear and hole you inherit. 

Formula is: Surname | Ancestral home name and feature | Extra starting gear


  1. Bairn | Ancestral Home: Goodhope, said to be delved on the site of an ancient human castle | Gain an ancient statue of a human queen
  2. Bolging | Ancestral Home: Bolging Den, full of hidden rooms and secret passages | Gain a secret room that only you know about in your hole 
  3. Biggerwaiste | Ancestral Home: Biggirdle, which has the deepest and most well-stocked wine cellar in the Commonwealth | Gain a beautiful stone chess set that can play by itself
  4. Chubber | Ancestral Home: Chub Row Place, which boasts the most elaborate and largest greenhouses of the Commonwealth | Pipe carved from an effalent's tusk
  5. Diggle | Ancestral Home: Diggledelving, which connects to unexplored caverns | Gain dwarf toy that moves on its own
  6. Dumblebee | Ancestral Home: The Apiary, which boasts a tree on its hill that's had a colony of bees since before the founding of the Commonwealth; they're not "tame" but they do act as guard dogs of the Apiary | Gain silver-capped drinking horn
  1. Fairborne | Ancestral Home: Treehome, which isn't carved into a hill at all, but into the side of a great tree | Gain a jar of healing sap 
  2. Gaggler | Ancestral Home: Great Sickle, which has a dedicated astronomy tower and telescope| Gain pocketwatch (the most advanced piece of technology in the Commonwealth)
  3. Goldworthy | Ancestral Home: Goodgard, which is built from a now-barren gold mine | Gain chainmail shirt
  4. Greenhand | Ancestral Home: Home o' the Green, boasting the fairest garden in the Commonwealth | Gain seeds from a tree from an elven forest
  5. Haywain | Ancestral Home: The High Hay, notably decorated with the preserved head of a great hogboglin slain by Brade Haywain | Gain +1 Str score
  6. Headstrong | Ancestral Home: The Ferry, which isn't a hole but a house-barge | Gain the unique skill of swimming (you're the only family who can do it) 
  1. Hogspen | Ancestral Home: Higgledepigglede, which sits on the largest farms of the Commonwealth | Gain +1 Con
  2. Hoorfoot | Ancestral Home: Coldhome, which has a statue of each family matriarch in the basement, which they call the "mausoleum"  | Gain a unicorn horn
  3. However | Ancestral Home: Brassgate, which is curiously decorated with hundreds of mirrors from all over the world | Gain cloak like the evening mist
  4. Labingi | Ancestral Home: Empty End, which is said to hide some hidden treasure in it somewhere | Gain 1d6 ancient silver coins you discovered in a secret nook 
  5. Lightfoot | Ancestral Home: Well Hollow, the oldest hole in the Commonwealth | Gain a red arrow that's never missed its mark and is always recovered 
  6. Longdweller | Ancestral Home: Drakedelving, which excavated a nearly complete dragon skeleton (the skull of which is a central part of the living room) | Gain a dragon's fang
  1. Measure | Ancestral Home: Cold 'n Deep, delved over a place the Water goes underground | Gain a beautiful silver cup and a waterskin of water that's never seen the sun
  2. Mugwort | Ancestral Home: Puddle Place is built along the banks of the Water and boasts comfortable armchairs from which you can fish | Gain an ivory comb once owned by the River Woman
  3. Nikkerbreaker | Ancestral Home: Candlewick, whose halls have such veins of iron that neither spells nor knacks may be cast there  | Gain a whetstone that makes blades unnaturally sharp
  4. Oldbairn | Ancestral Home: Pennytree, under an ancient tree said to be the home of the owl's parliament | Gain pet owl
  5. Outwithing | Ancestral Home: Horn Hill, on the top of the tallest hill with the best views | Gain a particularly large trumpet carved with runes
  6. Pitter | Ancestral Home: Fairfields is famous for its many fruit trees and ciders | Gain rope that ties or unties itself with a yank
  1. Puttering | Ancestral Home: Heartshearth, known for its many fireplaces that burn with curiously colored flames | Gain +1 Cha
  2. Rumblo | Ancestral Home: The Shock, said to be carved out by a giant's blow | Gain a whistle that can only be heard by animals
  3. Sandwallow | Ancestral Home: Pumpkinhome, which isn't a hole but a giant pumpkin | Gain Gain +1 Dex
  4. Scrumgeons | Ancestral Home: Goldapple Abbey, which is home to an old apple tree called "The Gaffer" that almost seems like he has a face; it's rumored the tree has spoken at least three times | Gain a rune-marked short sword 
  5. Smallerone | Ancestral Home: Beetleblack Hall, built not into a hill but into the carapace of an ancient onyx-shelled giant beetle | Gain a torc that screams if goblins are nearby
  6. Tallfeller | Ancestral Home: Windy Manor, decorated with elven-woven tapestries that almost seem to move in the firelight | Gain +1 Int
  1. Topher | Ancestral Home: Lockmorr, a notably small (but comfortable) hole--its door has no locking mechanism, but only opens at the request of a Topher family member | Gain a key that can unlock any door, but only works once
  2. Tukkish | Ancestral Home: The Holes, the hole with the most rooms | Gain a lucky charm (which shatters when you use it to automatically succeed on a saving throw)
  3. Tunneler | Ancestral home: Deeptunnel, deepest hole of the Commonwealth | Gain shield with horn of plenty painted on it 
  4. Wastenot | Ancestral Home: Willowswithern, which is occassionally haunted by the song of a halfling maid looking for her true love | Gain a song that when sung can be used to summon help, but only once
  5. Wantnot | Ancestral Home: Wallowhouse, which is the most majestic and ornate hole in the Commonwealth | Gain +1 Wis
  6. Witterquick | Ancestral home: Dwimmering, said to be built on a ley line | Gain a crystal that glows like a candle in the dark
I have treated Hobbit first-names, as far as possible, in the same way. To their maid-children Hobbits commonly gave the names of flowers or jewels. To their man-children they usually gave names that had no meaning at all in their daily language; and some of their women's names were similar ... In some old families, especially those of Fallohide origin ... it was, however, the custom to give high-sounding first-names. ... I have turned them into those old names, largely of Frankish and Gothic origin, that are still used by us or are met in our histories. I have thus at any rate preserved the often comic contrast between the first-names and surnames, of which the Hobbits themselves were well aware.

To make a halfling name, take a stereotypical British and spell it like George R.R. Martin. Or choose from the list below. 

Male Names: Addam, Alesander, Andwise, Angus, Bennard, Bill, Bob, Bodo, Bucca, Dafyd, Duggo, Edric, Filbert, Geoff, Graham, Gregor, Hamson, Hob, Hugo, Jack, Kallimac, Largo, Lews, Madoc, Marq, Milo, Mungo, Nibs, Nob, Odo, Omer, Polliver, Porto, Reginard, Reynard, Robin, Rowan, Rufus, Samwell, Ted, Tom, Warwick, Wesley, Will, Zachery

Female Names: Alanys, Alice, Angelica, Asphodel, Bell, Belladonna, Berylla, Brenda, Bonnie, Catlyn, Colette, Daisy, Diamond, Dee, Dora, Edith, Eleanor, Hanna, Helen, Janna, Jolly, Kaya, Lanna, Lily, Liza, Maggie, Marigold, May, Molly, Pansy, Pearl, Primrose, Rhonda, Rose, Ruth, Saera, Sybelle, Tanselle, Tanta, Violet, Walda, Willow

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