A Tour of the Southfarthing - Middle-earth Hexcrawl

An installment of my hexmap for Middle-earth project. Follow the "Middle-earth Hexmap" tag for all entries in this series.

The Southfarthing has a broad mix of environs: swamps in the east, unplowable hills in the west, and warm valleys where the pipeweed industry flourishes centrally. And Hobbits mirror the land they inhabit, at once soft, hard, and warm. I decided to give Longbottom itself a bit of a folk horror cant, while playing up the snootyness of Sackville (they are near the border, after all). Idraluna's hexmap leans on the Atlas of Middle-earth's interpretation of the location of these towns, though other sources disagree slightly.

Art by Kay Woollard

50.54

ROAD. A white chalk road between Michel Delving (48.54) and Hardbottle (51.54). Outlying farms and rocky fields lie on either side of the road.

(1) - RUFFIAN: Jocolby ("Jolly") Grubb (hobbit - missing tooth, sneering, layabout) sits in the shade of a tree calling out insults. "Your hole is so old they're putting it into a mathom-house!" "Your mayor's so fat, he has his own farthing!" He won't stop unless you beat him in an insult contest of this manner.
(6) - SHIRRIFF: Bruno Bracegirlde (hobbit - shirt unable to be buttoned over belly, blowhard, shirriff) rests by the side of the road puffing and panting. Old Gus (49.54) fought the law and the goat won.

51.54

HARDBOTTLE. A Hobbit town cut into a stony hillside. The fields surrounding the town are difficult to cultivate and impossible to plow; local farming is predominantly livestock. Still, the town is well regarded as picturesque. Most locals frequent the Cellar Door Inn, but the Rendwalk Inn is famous for its honeymoon suites.

✦ - OFTEN HERE: 1. Adelia Hornblower (hobbit - round-faced, argumentative, glassblower) swears she saw a falling star strike the earth in the hills south of town, past the bounds (52.54), 2. Bob Bracegirdle (hobbit - stained hands, friendly, potter) is renowned for the lifelike shapes crafted into his clay steins and meerschaum pipes; will sell you either for a silver penny, 3. Blanco Banks (hobbit - slob, earnest, rat catcher) has a small but vicious dog ("Whitey") that he's looking to breed, wonders if you can get him a good bitch.

! - A MATTER OF INHERITENCE: Messrs. Grubb, Grubb and Burrowes seek an experienced treasure hunter to settle a bequestment. Otto Boffin, a one-time adventurer, has left a treasure to his daughter, Primrose Bracegirdle (hobbit - goldenlocks, adventure-some, goodwife)…but nobody knows where it is. He only left a scrap of a map and this cryptic clue:

There is an old hoard in a dark rock,
forgotten behind doors none can unlock;
that grim gate no man can pass.
On the mound grows the green grass;
there sheep feed and the larks soar,
and the wind blows from the sea-shore.
The old hoard the Night shall keep,
while earth waits and the Elves sleep.

The law firm has two words of caution: One, they would prefer this contract to be carried out secretly (it's disreputable to employ a burglar). Two, Otto Boffin suffered some disfigurement in the adventure that supposedly won his wealth—the company should use caution to avoid the same fate.
[Inspiration from TOR2E - Starter Set - Shire]

! - THE LADS WHO DON'T DO NOTHING: The Shire is full of clubs, confraternities, and even secret societies. The Lads Who Don't Do Nothing is not one of these. They are an informal group of drinking buddies who meet up in inns and public houses across the Shire. You might encounter them in the Cellar Door Inn or through the random encounter table. If you drink with them, they might give you one of the following challenges: roll 1d6.
[A kind guest contribution by Skerples!]

1. Marking the Slab
There’s a long slab of exposed bedrock near Thistle Brook, within staggering distance of the Swan's Neck Inn (50.59). For generations, hobbits in the grips of ale have, by the light of the moon, stood at one end of the slab, taken careful aim, and attempted to outdistance their peers. The rare daring young hobbit maid who wishes to participate is usually wise enough to bring a milking stool or similar aid. The long furrow scored in the stone, the only permanent mark on it, is (or so the story goes) the result of a potion a wizard gave to Gerontius Took to help with his bladder stones. The creek is shallow enough that falling in is amusing. Go to the slab and outdistance the company.

2. Poison Plants
There hasn’t been an intentional poisoning in the Shire in living memory, and only a handful of accidents. Deliberately cultivating poisonous plants is seen as raffish and uncouth, but more than a few doddering Gaffers and Gammers have a tiny patch of Crimson Henbane or a Blistering Mulberry bush tucked in a corner of their solariums; relics of wild youthful devil-may-care gardening. Find one, pluck it, and wear it in one's cap as a sign of affiliation with the Lads.

3. Ghost Stories
The telling of a “proper boneless tale” is an art cultivated by young hobbits who wish to bend social norms. Many a young hobbit has been scared sheet-white by the whispered diableries of an older cousin, and then frightened into howling flight by a second bedsheet-clad cousin creeping up to the fire. Gaffer Quaffer was legendary for “The Tale of the Twice-Found Chest” where, at the climax, he’d roll his eyes back until the whites showed, drop out his false teeth, and emit a hideous rattle. Eagan Trimfoot swears he had a full head of hair before he heard the tale, and that it all fell out by the next morning. Scare the Lads present with a truly heartstopping ghost story.

4. Throwing Knives
Young hobbits who wish to appear wicked, or old hobbits who wish to deter visitors from arriving without notice, sometimes take up throwing knives at stumps and old bottles. They fashion and name elaborate and deeply impractical “weapons” from cutlery and old bits of potmetal. A curiously wavy “goblin” dagger at the Mathom-house is, some say, the source of all this nonsense. Play a round of throwing knives with the Lads and see if your aim is true. Or, if you're truly daring, practice your burglary at the Mathom-house in Michel Delving to claim the goblin dagger.

5. Strange Liqueurs
Every family has a herbal remedy or two that can double as paint stripper, goat reviver, or firestarter, but few hobbits would willingly drink them when fine ales and brandies are available. For the Lads, the anti-prestige of a bitter draught, especially one that comes in a fancy bottle and has a curious colour, is worth any amount of stomach pain and troubled dreams. Go drink for drink with the Lads with a smile as they put away a gaffer's patented tonic.

6. Bothering the Stuffy
The usual boundary-pushing behaviour. Wearing cosmetics, strange fashions, and speaking in a cant, asking questions like “Has your tipper turned the taters?” or “Who aaaaare yoooou?” Join the Lads for a round of mild promiscuity, staying up late, petty theft (or petty borrowing-without-intent-to-return).

50.53

HAMMIDGE ESTATES WINERY. Boffo Hammidge (hobbit - rosy-cheeked, ambitious, vintner) started producing wine at scale only recently; his father's wine has been stocked at the Cellar Door Inn at Hardbottle (51.54) for many years. Although inexpensive, the locals talk about the wine (and winemaker) as being "still too young."

Boffo wants to marry Lavender Mazer, daughter of Old Tallyman—the owner of Old Winyards (48.55)—but she's not (as of yet) interested.

49.55

FARMLAND. A region of poorer but well-tended farms, especially cattle. In the autumn, each farmer helps his neighbor gather the hay. The last to get their hay in must overwinter the "King of the Fields" (a scarecrow). The cream and butter of the region is especially rich.

50.55

SWEET ONIONS. Rolling hills and stony farmlands. Roving herds of cattle are a common sight. Wild onions with a surpassing sweetness grow in this region.

51.55

ROAD. The road between Hardbottle (51.54) and Sackville (52.56). To the south, rising green hills. To the north, stony farmlands.

(1) - CATTLE JAM: The road is jammed with lowing cattle. Progress down the road (especially in vehicles) is impossible. Two farmers are arguing about whose are whose. It might be a while.
(6) - RIDDLER: Caradoc Brandybuck (hobbit - tall hat, self-confident, goodman) sits in a camp chair by the side of the road, feet up, twirling an arrow with a red feather. Offers to wager the arrow in the riddle-game; says it's never missed while hunting. GM can Google for 30 seconds to represent his broad knowledge of riddles.

49.57

HOLLOWAY. The road from Longbottom (51.57) to Pincup (49.58) arcs through the southern corner of this region, turning into a tree-canopied "holloway" (a sunken lane). To the north of the lane is the Green Hill Country.

(1) - ROAD WEARY: In the shade of the trees, there's a feeling of sleepfulness and desire to picnic. Resting here for a few moments prompts Skill Δ4 tests (Δ6 for hobbits) or the burglar falls asleep for 8 hours.
(6) - TRAPPED HEDGEHOG: A baby hedgehog is caught in a snare; its mother is rushing to help. If observed, the mother rubs an herb on the snare that causes it to untie. The mother hedgehog will then eat the herb. If prevented from doing so, one portion of raskovnik is obtained. It's a magic herb. Using it can unlock a lock, open a chest, or untie a knot.

50.57

COUNTRY LANE. A sunken country lane runs from Longbottom (51.57) to Pincup (49.58). Outlying farms, staple crops, tea bushes, and tobacco fields lie on either side of the lane.

(1) - SNAIL RACE: Six snails cross from one side of the lane to the other; children and a few adults are betting on the race. Impossible to pass without disrupting the race (to the boos and bad will of the audience). If willing to delay, can bet on a snail. (Slimey, Bluey, Sluggoth, Shineshell, Gooper, or Wet Willy)
(6) - CART RIDE: Willa Lambeth (hobbit - gnarled, spunky, spinster/farmer) coming back from market with an empty cart; offers ride and discussion of weather. +2 travel points for the day, accurately predict the next week's weather.

51.57

LONGBOTTOM. A Hobbit town nestled in a warm valley. Pipeweed was first grown here and remains the predominant cash crop. The chief pub—situated around a large tree outdoors—is called The Green Man, run by Alder Hornblower and his daughter Willow.

✦ - OFTEN HERE: 1. "Big" Yan Oak (hobbit - tall and hardy, plain, farm worker) bets a pint he can lift any hobbit or dwarf who can't lift him, 2. May Broome (hobbit - apple-cheeked, courteous, post mistress/sweet seller) runs the local Post and sells candies on the side, 3. Miss Rose Briare (hobbit - pretty, thoughtful, school teacher) is an expert in Hobbit legends, including knockers, mewlips, the Gullion, the salmon of knowledge, the Withywindle Woman, the Old Forest, etc. 4. Mr. Laird Islen-Summer (hobbit - wild-haired, canny, farmer) owns the largest tobacco farm in the area, producing the Southern Star. Although charming and well-liked by the locals, he has strange ideas about "ancient rites" and "sacred mathematics."

YULE-FIRES. During the two days of Yule, many residents of the Southfarthing flock to Longbottom to celebrate. Fires are lit in celebration of the renewing of the year, including a huge bonfire of a wicker-hobbit in the town commons.

! - SPECIAL DELIVERY: Mr. Tommy Hornblower (hobbit - twinkle-in-his-eye, bemused, farmer) needs someone to expedite a shipment of Longbottom Leaf to Bree (47.56) within a fortnight. Willing to pay 4 silvers if they manage to get it there in time.

! - THE COFFER FROM HARSHPORT: Mr. Laird Islen-Summer, a member of the Order of the Eagle, has recently procured an import from Harshport in Harad (not appearing on this hex map). He's had word that it has reached the Grey Havens (47.39) but has been tied up somehow with the elves. He seeks a completed delivery for six silvers.

If delivery is achieved, Islen-Summer will invite the company to attend his scholarly appraisal and opening of the coffer. See MERP - Realms - The Shire's adventure "The Coffer From Harshport" for full details.
[Credit: MERP - Realms - The Shire]

52.57

ROAD. The road from Sackville (52.56) to Sarn Ford (55.59). An old belltower, to be rung in case of emergencies, sits next to the road southeast of Sackville.

(1) - BOUNDER: Hungo Bunce (hobbit - overbite, suspicious, bounder) riding a pony (Turnip) takes an interest in any non-hobbits in the company. He will try to impede their progress unless they have letters of favor from important hobbits in the Shire.
(6) - WALKING HOLIDAY: A group of hobbits out on a walking holiday towards [1. Sarn Ford, 2. Deephallow, 3. Hardbottle, 4. Michel Delving]. Will volunteer to walk with the company if their paths are going the same way. Their company provides morale, and they'll give any hobbits or dwarves fresh, woolen socks.

50.58

BETWEEN TWO RIVERS. An uncultivated land between the Thistle Brook (on the northern edge) and the River Shirebourne (unpassable, along the southern border of the hex). Willows, sycamores, and birds. Peopled mostly by wild geese and swans, except for the very intrepid angler or mushroom hunter.

51.58

WILLOWBOTTOM. A rural Hobbit village of brick houses positioned where Thistle Brook meets the River Shirebourne. The end of the road coming down from the Marish. To the south, marshy and unfarmed fields.

✦ - OFTEN HERE: 1. Mother Sutherland (hobbit - eyes white with cataracts, mild, housewife) has given birth 27 times to 66 children, an unsurpassed accomplishment in hobbit history, 2. Harry Highfax (hobbit - combover, avuncular, cobbler) sees himself as an armchair military historian; practically neglects his wife and children as he debates alternate histories of Middle-earth battles via correspondence, 3. Willa Bunce (hobbit - pretty but proud, sour, pigeon-seller) is a notorious gossip; will tell you that "everyone knows" Faira Oldbairn poisoned her late husband.

! - OF FUNGUS AND WORMS: Faira Oldbairn (hobbit - nut-brown and wizened, cantankerous, professional old person) wants six jack o' lantern mushrooms. They're luminescent and poisonous; she uses them for rat traps and hunting.

• Jack o' lantern mushrooms only grow in the Overbourne Marshes (51.60) or an adjacent hex.
• Searching a hex costs 1 travel point, as per usual.
• Mushrooms can be found in a 1-in-6 chance during the day, or 2-in-6 chance during the night.
• Those with Herb Lore add +1 to their X-in-6 chance.
• Many grow on Farmer Clayhanger's land (51.59), but he refuses to let anyone pick them. (Although he doesn't harvest them, either.) The chance to find them while searching this region is 3-in-6 during the day / 4-in-6 during the night.

Jack o' lantern mushrooms are often food for night-worms. Each search reveals 1d8-2 night-worms. Night-worms have 1 Endurance point, but have a paralyzing bite.

As a reward, the Gammer Oldbairn will trade a strange compass. It always points to something (but it isn't north).

52.58

WINDMILLS. Windmills pump water from the boggy soil, turning it into arable land. There are scattered crews of farmhands working during the day. Irrigation ditches lead to the river (impassable) that runs along this region's eastern edge.

Map credit: Idraluna Archive. Click for the full map.