A Bestiary

Herein I read the monster manual entries from OD&D in order and try to parse them into groupings and categories that let me use them at the table.

Every attempt to read OD&D is some sort of bizarre self mortification ritual. It's not the text itself, it's the grappling with it that's important.

This post is a quasi-continuation of my quickly-abandoned Domesday Book project. It is heavily inspired by Idraluna Archive's OD&D SOP and Gearing's &&Monsters. 

Normal Men

Bandits: Almost nobody, except for certain heathen kingdoms of Faraway, has a standing regular army. Rather, local kings will raise their banners and give out spears at the Weapontake, transforming Serfs and Peasants into Soldiers. When the war is over, Soldiers that have not won battle spoils (or won too many battle spoils) or who have no home to return to are transformed into Bandits. Bandit leaders carry ragged banners to kingdoms that no longer exist. 

Berserkers: Berserkers are Men troubled by dragondreams, which are sent out from sleeping dragons and shared by humans who live too close to their draconic lairs. Thoughtforms too large and too ancient enter their head. It starts as a headache, which leads to a certain irritability and belligerence. Soon, they learn that only battle will dull the sharp pain in their head. And they're good at it: when they slip into the berserk state, weapons bounce from their bodies. All berserkers have damage reduction 1-4 while berserk.

PROPER Berserkers are mighty of stature, hirsute of face and body, generously thewed and sinewed; their interest is not in war but in battle. In times of peace, therefore, they are dour and melancholy, with little occupation, save sharpening their weapons and mending their scanty battle harnesses. They are thus inclined to drink.

- The Book of Weird by Barbara Nindle Byfield

Brigands: If Bandits are formerly conscripted Soldiers, Brigands are simple thieves and bullies who practice the same art without the history of war. Where a King cannot extend the power of his Knights, Brigands may take tax collection into their own hands and set themselves as petty lords over a road, keep, or township. 

Dervishes: The Prophetess declared that the world would not be remade until the True Song was sung by the four Angels that stand on the four corners of the world. The Dervishes are crusaders-cum-missionaries who pursue a solemn oath to find these Angels and convert them. They have left their home realm and, with steel and song, proselytize their religion.

Nomads: The Plains and the Steppes are strange places, magical and treacherous. The weather of that place is not like the weather of the world. It has made a strange people, both fell in battle and fey in mood. They tell of the time of Starfall, when the chariots of the gods crashed into earth and carved both Plains and Steppes in their falling. They carry the weapons of the gods in hereditary clanships. Their lances fire magical bolts stronger than crossbow bolts.

Buccaneers & Pirates: Those who sail the seas come in two varieties: those who have letters from an enemy polity saying that they're allowed to plunder your vessel and those who have no such letters. Beware them both, for the end result is the same.

Cavemen: There was a time that the Cavemen--who call themselves Morlocks--ate the Men of the surface world, cultivating them as a farmer cultivates cattle. But the gods have delivered heroes unto Men, who find treasure that enriches their lives and makes them poor prey. The Cavemen are always lurking, though, and in ancient times made tunnels that crisscross the entire world. At any point, they may emerge from an undiscovered underground portal and reveal an entire hive of them, teeming below.

Mermen: Mermen are like Berserkers--they have been changed by the dragondreams. But the dragons that sleep in the abyss of the ocean are not like the dragons of the earth and sky. Eventually, mermen follow their deep dreams and leave their families behind and walk into the water. Later, after a battle with the cursed mermen, someone might look down at a dead merman body and say, "Why, it's Damen. Damen from Two-Wells. I knew him from before. From before he was turned to this...thing."

Orc: Both Berserkers and Mermen are troubled unwittingly by nearby draconic influence. Orcs seek Dragons out and pledge themselves to them. They believe that Dragons are the engines that God uses to burn down and remake the world, and wish to aid them in this holy mission so that the new age can start, free from sin. 

Their devotion to their Dragon cult changes Orcs more overtly than those who only suffer dragondreams. As they take damage, their scars heal in strange ways. Broken nails become claws; broken teeth become fangs. 

The only thing that has saved the world thus far is that neither Dragons nor their tribes of Orcs coordinate.

[Author's note: Normal Men is given as a header at the beginning of the Monster section of OD&D, saying "There are several categories of Normal Men." But there is no demarcation for when we leave this section. I have chosen to draw the line here, after orcs.]

Fairies, Unseelie

Goblins: A child stolen by a fairy becomes a Goblin. Goblins are like children's nightmares: scary but simple. Cartoonishly evil, not really evil. Goblins reclaim tunnels and passages built by Cavemen of old, popping out from hidden pipes and stealing whatever they want. Elves regularly steal human children to use as currency in trade with the Goblin King.

Hobgoblins (Goblin Kings): A Goblin that eats other Goblins becomes a Hobgoblin. Goblin Kings are all Hobgoblins--their servants obsequiously serve them lest they get eaten. They get enormously fat on this diet and settle down for a life of sedentary rule, like Jabba the Hutt. When Goblin Kings go to war with each other, the losing king is brought back to the victor's chambers, where he is eaten. 

Ogres: A Hobgoblin who eats several other Goblin Kings eventually grows into an Ogre. With the combined strength of many Goblins roiling around their guts, Ogres are much more mobile than they were when they were Hobgoblins, and much bigger--almost a small Giant. Sometimes, bits of the devoured Hobgoblins all constitute the same Ogre, with several arguing heads or multiple quarreling limbs. 

[Author's note: The advice from Gygax that players can play monsters, but must start as a weak monster that levels up into a strong monster, implies a sort of Pokemon-esque evolutionary chain for D&D monsters. I've leaned into that implied worldbuilding here.]

Kobolds: Kobolds are evil Dwarves, warped by the Chaos auras that radiate out from magical items. The Chaos sickness makes them soft-brained, sickly. Individually, they are weak. Collectively, they operate in a strangely coordinated way--like ants. Chaos-sickness might not be a disease, but a psionic possession by some stranger force, from deeper within the Underworld. 

Gnolls: A cross between Gnomes and Trolls (created by the wicked wizard, Lord Dunsany). They have two types: Gnomish creatures the size of Trolls, and Trollish creatures the size of Gnomes. The less said about them, the better.

Trolls: Trolls lie in wait under bridges, in crevasses, at the bottom of latrines, and other such foul places in hopes of reaching up and catching prey. They will extort those they catch or eat them. Usually, Trolls will be sporting, and give those they capture a chance to match them in strength or in riddles. They are untidy with their bones.

TROLLS  are subject to sunburn, bad teeth, and warts. Assume the worst of Trolls; they are always barefoot, do not like to sit down, and their blood is black and scalding. 

- The Book of Weird by Barbara Nindle Byfield

Fairies, Seelie

Unicorns: The Unicorn is sought after because there is much virtue in their horn. At a touch, it cures poisons. Alchemists can also make it into a potion of longevity and a variety of aphrodisiacs and fertility drugs. Because of this, they are universally wary and flee from hunters. They are occasionally used as mounts by Elfin dames.

Sprites: When the first baby laughed for the first time, the laugh broke into a thousand pieces--and that is the beginning of fairies. Sprites are Elfish ghosts. When they wish to wear flesh, they are "adopted" by an Elfish couple, who allow them to incarnate. When an Elf dies, their spirit returns to its Spritely form. A Sprite is naturally invisible but can become visible at will. Sprites come in two varieties: Nixies and Pixies. 

- Nixie: These Sprites dwell near freshwater springs, waterfalls, and pools. A Nixie-haunted pool bestows a random magical effect based on the Nixie's disposition--some are harmful, some are helpful. Being confused with Naiads enrages them, and they will attempt to drown the offender. 

- Pixie: These Sprites dwells under mounds, in flowers, or under mushrooms. When encountered, they are usually on some errand, which the players distract them from. They are excellent sources of rumors. Sometimes, a cloud of a dozen or so Pixies will decide to act as a godmother for a fortunate child. They will appear during birthdays and bestow blessings or magic items that turn them into Heroes.

FAIRIES are much more involved with Men than Elves, either setting things to rights or to wrongs. They have an unfortunate tendency to malice and mischief, and even though their original intentions are good they are woefully scatterbrained and forget their mission if the opportunity to tattle, stir up trouble, or inform on someone appears.

- The Book of Weird by Barbara Nindle Byfield

Gnomes: Gnomes live hidden in woodlands. They are a bit bigger (and certainly more rotund) than Sprites, but smaller than Dwarves, who are their cousins. They concern themselves much more with birds and beasts than Men: they heal their hurts, release them from traps, and feed them in scanty winter months. Like Dwarves, they can advance their crafting skills to supernatural degrees. All Gnomes live in pairs and mate for life, giving forth a single set of twins from their coupling. 

GNOMES and Dwarves, now no more than distant cousins, originally came from a common ancestor. 

- The Book of Weird by Barbara Nindle Byfield

Dwarves: Dwarves are craftsmen without parallel. Each year, a working Dwarf will produce a single masterpiece. To Men, these masterpieces appear to be magical.

Dwarves truck with Men only out of necessity, and only to learn their ways to better protect their treasures: Dwarven "adventurers" (such as they are) are usually journeymen who go into the world to further their craft then report back what they have learned.  Each Dwarf that leaves through their hidden doors makes sure he takes his Hood of Invisibility with him. They trade with Gnomes and Elves for foodstuff. They hate Cavemen, Dragons, and Goblins very much. They pity Kobolds.

DWARVES own all treasure underground and all treasure that originated underground. Dwarves do not steal; they reclaim what belonged to them in the beginning.

- The Book of Weird by Barbara Nindle Byfield

Elfs: Elfs are the nobles of the Seelie Court, handling disputes and dispensing justice when such things need doing. They also call the other fairies to war and lead the Wild Hunt. They act accordingly: they are genteel, beautifully arrayed, and wonderfully literate. They are accomplished weavers, and their kite strings, fishing line, and harps are coveted. They don't get involved with Men unless their natural foresight indicates they should; negative reaction rolls indicate that the PCs must be driven away less doom befall their court, positive reaction rolls indicate that the PCs must be given aid. Rarely, a winged Elf is born--they serve a special role in Elfin society, and must found a new kingdom in a new location. 

Treants: Elfs awaken trees to serve as the guardians of their forest kingdoms. Treants are about as intelligent as sheepdogs. 

Titanomachy

Giants: In the Dawn Age, Giants were the rulers of all, but are now greatly diminished both in prestige and in height. Few Giants are under 12' in height, but may grow to any height if their long lives are uninterrupted. Giants desire to accumulate symbols of royalty to reclaim their "proper status"; they especially wish to capture and live in castles. 

As a Giant grows in height, they take on different honorifics. For example, Young Giants are "tall as hills," and are called Hill Giants. The oldest Giants have "their heads in the clouds" and are called Cloud Giants. 

Some Giants are Cyclopses. Although they have varied appearances, being stunted and malformed, they all have one eye. Cyclopses, unlike other Giants, cannot grow in height and power.

The very oldest and tallest giants are called Titans. They are all sealed away in the Underworld. 

GIANTS prefer to inhabit castles captured from Men rather than build their own; if no castles are available or suitable they will live in caves, on mountainsides, or out of doors. If they have a castle they make few improvements on it other than enlarging the dungeons for themselves and their prisoners; it is otherwise left to go to rack and ruin.

- The Book of Weird by Barbara Nindle Byfield

Dryads: Dryads are minor goddesses who live inside the oldest trees of the forest. At night, they sing haunting songs and dance moon-clad through the woods. Those that join their reveries are placed under a Charm effect and induced to stay with the Dryad for a year and a day. The Dryad considers this marriage. There's 2-in-6 chance that upon being encountered, the Dryad already has one such spouse. Dryads die if their trees are ever cut down.

[Author's Note: Keeping the D&D naming convention here is personally annoying to me. Just call them "Nymphs" and have their elemental association determine a more granular name: Dryad, Naiad, Nereid, etc.]

Minotaur: The Minotaur was a bull-headed monster trapped in a labyrinth during the Dawn Age. Today, the term refers to a script-based disease that occurs when magic-users copy spells incorrectly. When a certain type of grammatical mistake is made, the magic-user is transformed and mutated: head swelling, protuberant growths, muscles swelling. The "bull-headed" appearance is poetic at best. 

Those transformed into minotaurs are compelled towards some goal under the earth, and dash into the tunnels built by Cavemen in search of it. Minotaurs do not speak, and only engage with those who try to slow their progress through the underground, though they also eat those they kill. Because of the similarity in behavior, some theorize there is still only one Minotaur--a singular logoform that possesses all those who suffer minotaurism--but these theories are untested.

The Minotaur is classically a bull-headed man (and all of us who have debated rules are well acquainted with such).

- Dungeons & Dragons, Monsters & Treasure by E. Gary Gygax and Dave Arneson

Centaurs: In the Dawn Age, Centaurs had a sophisticated culture--one much more advanced than human culture of today. After a failed rebellion against the gods, their race was magically lobotomized. Today, they live in small family-based herds in the wild. They are exceedingly violent. Negotiating with one is like negotiating with a polar bear that can wield a spear.

Wizards can dispel this curse on a personal basis, awakening single Centaurs to sentience, but have little reason to do so.

Hydra: In the Dawn Age, proto-dragons were common. One such was the hydra. Damnably hard to kill, if even a 1/20th of its body isn't destroyed utterly with fire, it will regenerate. That's why they're still slurking around in modern times.

Medusae: A race of cacogen from a distant star, stranded here after their ship crashed in the Barrier Peaks. They have bred (spawned? cloned?) somewhat. In appearance, they look like human women with the lower bodies of serpents. Their hairs are prehensile. From their eyes, they can fire a beam that stuns and paralyzes living creatures. They wish to return to their sphere, but the materials and craftsmen of our modern world frustrate this goal.

Pegasi: The gods keep a certain number of winged horses--the pegasi--in reserve and grant them to true Heroes in furtherance of their goodly quest. In the same way that magic swords can only be wielded by Fighters, only Lawful Fighters who undertake a worthy quest will receive a pegasus. 

Undead

Skeletons and Zombies: When a body is raised and animated by magic but the soul is not returned, an Undead Servant is created. Lacking a soul, the body lacks all self direction, and will continue to decompose and deteriorate. The Wizard (or Sorceress, Witch, or Warlock) that animated the Undead Servant must carefully and specifically direct the Undead Servant, who will follow the letter but not the spirit of their commands. Skeletons are stronger than Zombies, and smell better.

Mummies: The same spells that raise Skeletons and Zombies raise Mummies, but the target of the spell is the Wizard himself. Done as part of a death-ritual, the Wizard confines himself to his sarcophagus and breathes the last incantation with his death rattle. If done correctly, the Mummy is like the lesser undead, but is self directed since the target and the caster are one and the same.

Ghouls: Victims of a disease with no cure, Ghouls can only eat mannish carrion. Like Lepers, they become desiccated, with rotting skin and parched lips. Like Lepers, they linger outside of the city and ask for alms. They are all but blind during the day but can see at night. They are sometimes found in the employ of Vampires, since they both require frequent victims but eat different parts of the Man.

Wights: The Necromancer Lord was defeated in the last age, but his undead still trouble the earth when discovered. Sealed in tombs and barrows, Wights suck the life from those unhappy treasure hunters who dare to trespass on their burial places. They are vulnerable only to silver weapons.

Wraith: A Wraith is a Wight that has gathered enough power to walk abroad from its tomb. They make their way towards the remains of the Necromancer Lord's fortress. The Wise fear that when another Wraiths return to their master's domain, he will rise again to trouble the world.

Specters: Let us not call Specters monsters. They are just the lingering ghosts of those who once lived who have too much life left over. Animals signal their coming, first: Owls will hoot to warn you. Slowly, the Specter's presence will fill the place they dwelled in life. They usually want something. It behooves you to find out what, because they make themselves more and more known until they get it.

Vampires: Everything you've heard about Vampires is true: their ability to transform into beasts or a mist, their aversion to holy symbols and garlic, their need to rest in their coffins, their nigh invulnerability. They are savage opponents! Luckily, travel for them is difficult, so they are easy to avoid--unless you are trying to steal into their castles.

To become a Vampire, the following steps may be taken.

1. Be born of the offspring of a Witch and The Devil...

2. Lead during life a career of more than ordinary wickedness, dissolution, and sin...

3. Be a Werewolf towards the end of life, for this will give you contact with Vampires and you can ask one yourself how to proceed further.

4. Live in a Slavonic country. They possess the highest ratio of Vampires to people and odds are therefore greater that you will become one. Also, there is an excellent chance you will be bitten by a vampire and if this happens often enough you will automatically become a Vampire after death.

5. Die excommunicated from the Church, if possible by suicide.

6. See to it that you are buried with mutilated rites in desecrated ground.  

- The Book of Weird by Barbara Nindle Byfield

Werewolves: Werewolves are humans brought to close to death by a Wolf but denied the chance to die. They linger near death as a Werewolf and can take a half-Man, half-Wolf form at night, during the full moon, or at certain times of the year. Duration varies depending on a number of factors. 

Werewolves are sometimes thought to be a sub-type of Vampires: a strain of the genus that lingers overlong in the wolf-form. Stories of "families" of Werewolves are Peasant superstition, told by wicked Cobblers. Stories of other types of Lycanthropes--Werehyenas and Weretigers, etc., are unfortunately true.

Werewolves are of two sorts: voluntary and involuntary. Those who have been bitten once too often by a Vampire, or have been cursed into Wewrewolfdom by a malevolent Witch, or have inadvertently placed themselves in the hands of an evil or incompetent experimenter with youth-giving elixirs and potions are all involuntary Werewolves. 

- The Book of Weird by Barbara Nindle Byfield

Animals

Basilisk: A toad's egg incubated by a chicken, the Basilisk is the King of all Serpents. It's said their glance is death, but this refers to the fact that it can shoot a jet of venom from its eye. Indeed, they are so venomous, that they leave a trail of poison oozing in their wake. Merely touching it is deadly. They love to look at their own reflections (like many kings). They are opposed by the goodly King of Frogs. 

Cockatrice: A chicken's egg incubated by a toad, the Cockatrice is a less clever but not less dangerous than the Basilisk. Their venom is delivered by their spurs; it petrifies their victims. They use petrification to keep fields of statues fresh for later consumption. The Cockatrice's tears reverses the process. They are sometimes also called Cock o' the Field.

Gorgons: The "cattle of the gods," Gorgons are oxen with incredibly-hard scaled hides. They can breathe a vapor of petrification 1d4 times a day. 

In the same way that Australian possums (Phalangeriformes) were named for the Virginia possum (Didelphis virginiana) because people saw them and said "Hey, ain't you that feller from America?", the cattle-Gorgon are named after an entirely different class of petrifying monsters. See also: Medusae. 

Griffon: A species of winged Lions. Beast-masters of the lands of Faraway have been known to tame them and ride them--a right exclusively given to their shahs and sultans. Griffons are naturally hostile to Horses; even tamed Griffons will go berserk in a horse's presence and attempt to kill it. 

Manticore: A Tiger that eats a man becomes a Manticore. Like the Alzabo, it incorporates the man's personality into its own: whistling his songs, walking his roads, calling for his wife by name to come out of the house and be devoured too. The more men the Manticore eats, the stronger and cleverer it becomes. They also grow quite vain--gifts of fancy hats allow you to avoid their double rows of razor sharp teeth. Manticores sometimes form faux family groups with Harpies. 

Rocs: A breed of Eagles large enough to predate on Elephants. They speak the Common tongue. Though they hate evil monsters and the Unseelie Court, they claim a right to any walking thing under the sun as their prey, and have been known to swallow up Maidens, Hermits, and Elves. They are a proud race, refusing to be anyone's servants. Intimations that they could be used as steeds is their gravest insult. 

Horses: Everyone knows what a Horse is. All Horses count their birthdays from New Year's Day.

Dragons

There are six types of dragons that incarnate in this age: five evil dragons (manifestations of the Destroyer) and one good (manifestations of the Preserver). 

White: Manifestations of the starving winter. Their breath is like a storm of ice. They are strong against earth and water, but weak against fire and lightning.

Black: Manifestations of decay: the corruption of the body, old age, rust. Their breath is like acid. They are strong against earth but weak against water. 

Green: Manifestations of sickness, poison, and toxic plants. Their breath is a choking cloud. They are weak against air.

Blue: Manifestations of the destruction of nature: the thunderstorm, the earthquake, the tsunami. Their breath is lightning. They are weak against fire, but strong against lightning and water. 

Red: Manifestations of the coming apocalypse. Their breath is fire. They are strong against all elements except for water. 

Golden: Manifestations of God's promise to preserve Mankind. They are expert magicians. They also breathe flame. 

Draconic Abilities: For every 10 hit points a dragon has, they manifest one of the following abilities. The GM should randomly determine which abilities a particular dragon has:

1. Corrosive Spittle: Every bite attack that hits reduces the victim's armor class by 1.
2. Venomous Spittle: If a character is hit with a bite attack, they must Save vs Poison or become poisoned. If poisoned, they suffer 1 damage at the end of their turn. If a poisoned character is hit with another bite attack, a second saving throw is not allowed: the character automatically increases the damage they take by 1.
3. Forked Tongue: At the beginning of combat, all characters who can hear the dragon must Save vs Doom. On a failure, the dragon gets to make a surprise attack against each character who failed.
4. Clanging Scales: On an attack roll of 1 against the dragon, the weapon used is destroyed--blunted by the scales as they grind together.
5. Smoking Nostrils: The dragon can make an additional breath attack each combat.
6. Scalding Blood: On a successful melee attack against the dragon, the dragon deals the attacker 1/2 of the damage taken.
7. Lashing Tail: The dragon can make an additional attack every round with its tail: +[HD], 1d8 damage. 
8. Terrible Jaws: The dragon's bite attack is increased by one dice step.

Wyvern: A Wyvern is to a Dragon as a Duke is to a King. They are winged, and walk on the wings like Dragons from Game of Thrones. They are fond of songs. They have the Lashing Tail and Venomous Spittle draconic abilities. 

A Wizard Did It

Chimera: There are many known spells in a Wizard's repertoire with unknown purpose or uncertain practicality. The spell that creates a chimera is one of these. Yes, you can combine a goat, a proto-dragon, and a lion into a singular beast that acts more-or-less like a natural predator--but why would you? Why did the ancients invent this spell? Why was it passed down from generations? Why did you bother to gather these animals together and cast it?

Invisible Stalker: These spirits are called "Invisible Stalkers," but are more correctly named "Phantoms" by true scholars of magic. A Phantom is a temporary spirit, not one that pre-existed in another realm, given animation by a spell. Each spell that summons a Phantom creates one specifically for some task--like summoning a hammer for hammering or a pot for cooking. The most terrible of these are those summoned to assassinate. Once the Phantom has accomplished its task, it returns to non-being. The longer it takes for a Phantom to accomplish its task, the more the magic breaks down, and the less likely to succeed it is, which makes it break down more. Think Mr. Meeseeks. 

THERE are Spirits to whom time and space do not exist. They travel swiftly, circling and girdling the  earth in the twinkling of an eye, always to a purpose. These Spirits are sent or summoned, and they must be allowed to depart when their tasks are accomplished. 

Phantoms and Specters are the creations of magic and are not true Spirits; they are usually temporary and are intended to baffle, confuse, and distract you. 

- The Book of Weird by Barbara Nindle Byfield

Elementals: A Phantom conjured into a body of raw element--a boulder stone, a pond, a bonfire, a storm cloud, etc.--takes on a physical body and is no longer Invisible. These are called Elementals. 

Hippogriff: Because Griffons are hostile to Horses, crossbreeding them is considered impossible. Impossible, that is, without the aid of magic. The result is a Hippogriff, which is much like a Griffon in appearance but more equine. Importantly, the Hippogriff's flight is magical in nature and not bound by natural laws. A Hippogriff can fly to the moon. Those on its back are not troubled by the Chaos that fills the space between the spheres. 

Living Statues, Robots, Golems, Androids: Different names for the same concept, the fundamental principle is the same: create a Homunculus (a tiny person) through occult means, then build for him a suit of armor capable of being moved by his miniscule movements, then insert him therein. Note that they are different from Gargoyles (see below). 

Robots, Golems, Androids: Self-explanatory monsters which are totally subjective as far as characteristics are concerned. 

- Dungeons & Dragons, Monsters & Treasure by E. Gary Gygax and Dave Arneson

Ex Miscellanea 

Angels & Demons: The greatest of the Spirits are called Angels or Demons. They are of a kind, but have obvious differences in goals and temperament. Angels have their habitation in the Upper Air, from which they compose their bodies. Demons, being fallen, dwell in the Inferno, from which they make their bodies. In their "natural" shapes, both are Giant sized. Both may assume human or animal forms at will. Both categories have many divisions between Thrones, Wheels, Pits, Principalities, etc. 

In Faraway, Angels and Demons are given rather more Arabesque names (Djinn and Efreet). 

Devils seem like Demons, but are emanations or incarnations of the singular Devil. They sometimes keep company together.

Gargoyles: Despite their frightful appearance, Gargoyles are aligned with Law. They are carven by the Church as guardians, after all! A statue, after hearing so many sermons and after drinking so much holy water, eventually absorbs enough soul substance that it awakens. Gargoyles will protect the site of their birth, challenging those that approach with physical, mental, and moral tests.

Juggernaut: Of course, not all holy statues sit sedentary. Some are taken from their sanctuaries and paraded around the town on certain high holidays during the year. Some form the basis of mobile shrines, placed on temple chariots and moved from place to place. When these Gargoyles awaken, they are called Juggernauts. They move on a power all their own, dispensing justice as they move from place to place.

Purple Worm: Biochemical monsters grown by Cavemen before their degeneration for the purpose of hollowing out their caves. Left unchecked, their manipulated evolutionary processes have run amok. Purple Worms can grow to prodigious size. One is borrowing even now below the earth that is large enough to swallow cities. He is called...HIS MAJESTY THE WORM. 

Oozes, Slimes, Jellies, Puddings, Et Cetera: The same biochemical processes that created Purple Worms created a variety of gelatinous, giant, single-celled organisms that come in a variety of colors and levels of viscosity. Based on their color, expert Alchemists may deduce them being vulnerable or resistant to different elements, but these differences are mostly academic. 

Microblog: The power of runes

Spells are never spoken aloud. That's just superstition. Spells are always written on scrolls. The spell is the scroll. 

The wizard writes "chain." The scroll functions as chain. Wrap it around the prisoner's arms.

The wizard writes a letter on the scroll, then pens the magical name of its intended recipient, and the letter sails through the air. 

A spellbook is a collection of these scrolls pre-prepared for many eventualities and purposes.

Middle-earth Hexcrawl Dashboard

A while back, when juggling all the materials I needed to run a game, I had the idea for and mocked up a proof of concept of a hexcrawl dashboard--something that had everything I needed to run a game in a single view.

Last week, Mick of Advanced Mystery & Manners did the yeoman's work of making a hexcrawl dashboard for the Middle-earth Hexcrawl - at least as much as has been released so far. I'm sharing it with their permission. Behold!

Click the image to check it out

Just click a hex, and the key appears. If you need an encounter or rumour, those will generate in the same window. 

I can't tell you how much I appreciate the hard work Mick put into this. For folks who want to run Lore with adventures in the Shire, this makes it so easy. 

Everybody say "Thank you, Mick!" 

Framing a Kung Fu Campaign

I've long been a big fan of kung fu movies, but only recently started dabbling in the core texts by reading a translation of The Legend of the Condor Heroes. This has prompted me to think about how these stories might be captured in a long-term RPG campaign. (I've written previously about the structure of kung fu movies and made observations about translating the structure into RPGs. This post continues that thread; read it first if you haven't yet.)

Here is some cool tech from other games that I think would serve as a solid basis for a kung-fu campaign. 

Loresheets in Legends of the Wulin

When you talk about kung fu games, someone usually brings up Legends of the Wulin. When you talk about Legends of the Wulin, someone usually brings up loresheets. 

What is a loresheet? Here's how the book introduces the term:

"A Loresheet ... is a focused description of one setting element including specific purchasable ways a character can be tied to it. [Characters who have a Loresheet] have knowledge and insight in to the setting element it describes, whether through study or personal experience, and that the setting element is somehow tied into her history. ... It might come with a free bonus, but the major thing is that it unlocks the ability to spend Destiny on story or character options that tie you to that setting aspect. You might find yourself suddenly (and retroactively) revealed as the last scion of a dying bloodline, marry into a war between families, and get the chance to forge a new and lasting peace. In essence, these options both tie you to the setting and allow you to exercise an amount of influence over the story."

Loresheets appeared throughout the book in dedicated pages describing factions (like on the right page) or just in boxed text (like on the left page):

Loresheets have purchasable mechanical boons. These boons can be simple ("I have a reputation with this sect. I have a +5 reaction bonus with them") or more mechanical ("I know this sect's Dragon Fist Form and can use it in combat"). Loresheets share a lot of conceptual space with playbooks in this way: a tightly-bound list of advancement options that are coupled with the setting and define the trajectory of your character's story. 

You can purchase loresheet boons using XP during character creation or during play. 

Interestingly, players can spend an XP-like resource called "deeds" to purchase loresheet boons for other players. That means if a fellow player thinks it would be interesting for your character's story to become aligned with the events described on a particular loresheet, they can spend their deed to make that happen for you.

How I might use this:

I'm firmly in the "no homework" camp when it comes players--I can't be disappointed that nobody read my 20 page homebrew setting document if there's no 20 page homebrew setting document. 

That said, do you know how to get players to read your setting material? If there are character stats embedded in it. A spoon full of sugar (character building crunch) makes the medicine (lore) go down.

I think it's vital for games with rich settings to not have generic abilities that you mix and match like GURPs or Mutants & Mastermind. If you have a level in warlock, it's because you literally have a pact with a devil--an NPC that shows up sometimes during game. If you have the Dragon Subduing Palm, it's because you met Count Seven the Beggar King who taught you the technique over three days. These abilities should be rooted in the fiction.

Also, the best lore is hidden interwoven into the book itself, into the random table entries, into the equipment lists, into the suggested names.

Myths in Mythic Bastionland

One of the touted benefits of Wulin's loresheets is they condense the setting to a manageable level. The loresheets the players select are canon; everything else isn't true (yet). That's a one way to keep the homework overhead from becoming too crazy!

Another game that presents many options but only focuses on a few is Mythic Bastionland. In that game, there are 72 knights and 72 myths. A knight and a myth shares a spread like this:

On the left you have a PC: their abilities, their mentor (the seer), their items, and a small flavorful random table. On the right you have the myth--some NPCs, a sequence of omens that happens as the myth grows in power, and the stats of the titular myth itself.

A campaign of Mythic Bastionland doesn't dump all 72 knights and myths onto a single map and say "Go." The players roam the land and begin uncovering the omens of the 1+ myths the GM introduces, playing through them in a series of scenes.

How I might use this:

I like how entire campaigns are contained in a single page of a myth. It creates a great pattern to follow.

I could never match Chris McDowall's sparsity in prose, but I feel like there could be two sides to an entry--one player facing and one GM facing. 

Player facing: Rumors about a "myth": a faction, an event, a person. Also, the boons you get if you ally with them: a new PC to put into your stable, training from an NPC in sectarian kung fu techniques, a special weapon. 

GM facing: The encounter that the players have when they travel to this location: the essential conflict of the "myth." A training manual stolen, a rebel leader hidden in the region, a secret identity to be revealed. 

Advancement in Old School Stylish 

Old School Stylish reimagines the OSE rules as a class-less system. It takes OSE class abilities, spells, and items and breaks them into atomic pieces, then lets you gain them piece by piece by learning them from mentors, reading secret scrolls, and meditating in special spaces. 

In some ways, it takes a paradigm that is familiar to players of magic-users in old-school games and turns it up to 11. Now, all abilities are scavenged and found through play instead of instantly gained on certain wealth accumulation scores.

How I might use this:

Leveling up in my ideal kung fu campaign would be linked to NPCs, factions, and travel. Combine the player rumor/GM encounter pattern from the previous entry and place them physically on a map. Instead of investing character resources (XP into loresheets), players invest game play time by traveling to locations on the map to achieve the same thing. 

The rumors feel important here. If they encounter a villain with a kung fu style they can't beat, they can read through the setting document to find a technique that would be strong against his defenses. Then, they can travel there and acquire that resource. "I've heard that on Mount Wulin, there's a swordsmaster whose blade can cut even adamant skin. Let's go there!"

Time Pressures in the Dark Crystal Adventure Game

The premise of The Dark Crystal Adventure Game is that the players have 99 days before an unspecified disaster. In that time, they need to gather the seven seeds from the seven world trees scattered around the map.

As time goes on, the disaster--the Darkening--wreaks havoc on the setting. Things get worse. Locations that were once friendly and hospitable become ruined and poisonous. 

I ran this for several weeks this year and it was an ambitious premise for a book--an entire campaign setting contained in two-page spreads. 

How I might use this:

One can imagine several framing devices for a kung fu game: two factions training a pair of boys from infancy to coming-of-age (Condor Heroes), gathering the 108 bandits for a rebellion (Water Margin), and so on. 

Define a time period--say a year--and let the players move around the sandbox during that time. The rumors give them informed choices about where they want to go, the distances and training times are the resources they're spending. Then, at the end of the time period, there's a culminating event that they've been preparing for, and they put together everything they learned over the course of the campaign. 

Could I combine these techniques together into an undefeatable style? We'll see!

LORE - A Lord of the Rings Adventure Game Retroclone

"I would draw some of the great tales in fullness, and leave many only placed in the scheme, and sketched. The cycles should be linked to a majestic whole, and yet leave scope for other minds and hands, wielding paint and music and drama." - J.R.R. Tolkien

My favorite licensed Tolkien game was published by Iron Crown Enterprises in 1991. It was called The Lord of the Rings Adventure Game (abbreviated, bizarrely, as "LOR"). Because I'm very charmed by the system, I ran some games using an adaptation of it.

When I began the Middle-earth Hexcrawl project, I wrote them with an eye towards this adaptation. The more I wrote daily hexes, the more I found myself co-developing a system to use to run the hexcrawl. 

I've called this system Lore. It is a retroclone of The Lord of the Rings Adventure Game, much expanded and elaborated on and with many optional subsystems. It is what I will use to run the Middle-earth Hexcrawl. 

You can check out the game, here:

Click the picture to get the game!

What's different about this retroclone?

There's lots of retroclones scattered throughout the blogosphere. Why is this one worth your time? I think there's a few things that are cool here!

A setting for a system, a system for a setting

Ever since I wrote my 1937 Hobbit blog post (almost ten years ago, good Lord), I've been making posts with rules that attempt to codify the "Treasure Hunting, Journeying, Singing" aesthetic of the original Hobbit. The Middle-earth Hexcrawl Project and Lore are the culmination of those efforts. 

The hexcrawl allows you to explore a Middle-earth that never was: one where weird stuff is under every hill and around every bend in the road. 

Flavourful characters

The original LOR had a premise I've rarely seen before - it was almost a capsule game. The game was about playing these characters in this adventure. (The adventure was a railroad, but hey.) And there was no ownership over the characters. You could play one character one night and another character on the following night. 

A funky premise, but one that I think is compelling! Lore has a similar default set up: play as a gang of burglars from Bree! 

And if you choose to make your own character using the advanced rules, each character should prove to be totally unique with each culture having 50 random, flavorful abilities to gain (300 abilities in total). I think there's some real gems here!

How to make friends and influence people

"Poor little blighter," said William. He had already had as much supper as he could hold; also he had had lots of beer. "Poor little blighter! Let him go!"

"Not till he says what he means by lots and none at all," said Bert.

I love that exchange between the trolls in The Hobbit: what a perfect summation of the OSR approach to monster encounters. In Lore, there are two twists on classic OSR procedures of languages and the reaction roll. 

Characters in The Hobbit are true polyglots! The dwarves speak the raven language but also understand the crow tongue. Gandalf (and the goblins, presumably) speak the wolf language. And characters can suddenly understand languages in medias res, like Bard understanding the thrush. Similarly, in Lore, the languages you know and don't know are determined during play. If you pass your Understanding test,  you know the language being spoken/if you fail, you don't. Add it to your permanent list of languages known/unknown. 

Similarly, based on your race, characters have a default starting reaction towards you (nobody likes dwarves...). But if you speak their language, you can negotiate with them and improve their reaction. Your Beauty score determines how many times you can make a social faux pas before a neutral reaction deteriorates into a hostile one!

Delightfully wonky combat

The OSR has ruthlessly refined all the wonkiness out of old-school combat, streamlining it and harmonizing it with the rest of the system: roll high, no THAC0, no charts. I think the simplified MERP combat shown in the original LOR was too crucial to its experience to cut! 

Roll on a combat chart to determine if you hit your opponent and how hard. And nested in the chart are super flavourful death and dismemberment results. Armour is important not just because it makes you harder to hit but because it protects your vital spots. For example: "Gash to neck: 10 damage and bleeding wound. If no chest armour, internal bleeding in the throat means that target cannot speak until after rest." 

Experience through travel, just in-time level ups

If The Hobbit (and its sequels) are about journeys, I wanted to make sure that journeys were actually fun. Something that frustrates me with other "Ring" games is it abstracts travel either into a series of random rolls (the Guide randomly has to make a skill check - no choices! boring!) or handwaves travel entirely. 

In Lore, there's a crunchy journey system that makes you have conversations about how you approach the puzzle of travel. 

And, importantly, your company gains experience based on new hexes traveled and new dungeons explored. When your company gains a total of 10 travel points, one member of the company gains an experience point (which is what "levels" are called in this parlance). You can cash in your XP right away to immediately get a new power. Or you can hold on to it and use it when you need it most. If you meet an old man in the hexcrawl, they might be able to teach you a unique skill if you have the XP banked. Or you can spend your XP on enchanting magical items! 

Credits

This is entirely a fan work, like a piece of fanfiction published in the Tolkien Society bulletin. My use of the terms, concepts, characters, names, and texts are not a challenge to the trademark or copyright.

Art and Cartography

• The Middle-earth Hex Map was created through the research and labor of Idraluna Archive
• Art is by Goran Gligovic, used by kind permission

Additional Thanks

• Hope, hexcrawling rules, and certain wandering encounter events are sourced from Arnold K. of Goblinpunch's Hex Crawling v3, shared under a CC BY-NC-SA 4.0 license.
• When populating hexes, I frequently relied on the bounty of the blog d4caltrops by Ktrey. You might see some results from his wonderful d100 tables here.
• Special thanks to Elizabeth for her encouragement.

Sprawling, but incomplete

The Lord of the Rings Adventure Game is a simple piece of game design; its rules barely take up 34 pages. Like many old games, it is an imperfect beast but has many good ideas. This adaptation has become swollen—almost bloated like Shelob. It has spoiled the original's simplicity in favour of gluttonously feasting on subsystems that appeal to my sensibilities. Such is the author's prerogative! 

And yet, this game is incomplete. Not only are there subsystems mentioned (e.g., Downtime) that I haven't finished explaining, but the whole thing is unedited. The entire thing was written in a stream of consciousness to get the ideas onto paper with no thought of clarification or harmonization. 

But if I didn't stop working and publish this game on my blog in an unfinished state, it would never be seen by anyone besides myself. I am prioritizing sharing the results of my fever dream labours over presenting something that's, well, presentable. 

I suspect that as I continue to reread the trilogy every year I will continue to return to these rules and worry at it. Check back in sometime. Maybe you will find some improvements! I hope there is something here that is appealing to you, friend. 

If you end up running the Middle-earth Hexcrawl using these rules, please do let me know.

Random Goblin Advancement

When you level up, you gain a random benefit based on your race or class. Here's what goblins get. You can also use this table for folks like half-orcs or maybe even tieflings, if that's your style of game.

If you prefer your goblins more whimsical and fairy tale oriented, may I suggest Papers and Pencils's d100 Gobbobilities.

Art by Goran Gligović

Goblins

Now goblins are cruel, wicked, and badhearted. They make no beautiful things, but they make many clever ones. They can tunnel and mine as well as any but the most skilled dwarves, when they take the trouble, though they are usually untidy and dirty. Hammers, axes, swords, daggers, pickaxes, tongs, and also instruments of torture, they make very well, or get other people to make to their design, prisoners and slaves that have to work till they die for want of air and light. It is not unlikely that they invented some of the machines that have since troubled the world, especially the ingenious devices for killing large numbers of people at once, for wheels and engines and explosions always delighted them, and also not working with their own hands more than they could help; but in those days and those wild parts they had not advanced (as it is called) so far. 

Roll a d50 to determine what dark gift you manifest. 

1. Mountain Maggot: You can see in the dark. You can operate as if you had dim light in total darkness. If there's dim light, your eyes are no better than anybody else's. 
2. Hardheaded: Your skull is as hard as stone. You can headbutt and deal damage like a hammer. You are immune to head-based Critical Wounds. You gain +1 Defense, but this doesn't stack with wearing a helmet. Unfortunately, the bottoms of your feet are very, very sensitive. Stepping on caltrops deals double damage to you.
3. Bloodhound: You can smell as sharply as a wolf. You can identify people you've met before by smell alone. You can follow fresh trails unerringly.
4. Spidery: You may climb sheer surfaces as if you had a rope. If you ever do fall, treat your fall as if it were 15' shorter.
5. Trap tricky: If you set off a trap during combat, roll a d6. On a 1-2, the trap hits you. On a 3-4, it hits you AND a foe. On a 5-6, it only hits a foe.
6. Singed: You are resistant to fire damage.
7. Long Under the Shadow: You are resistant to fear damage.
8. Packmaster: You gain the speech of wolves (if you don't already have it). Wolves you meet will default to friendly reactions to you.
   ★ - Wolfrider: If you roll this advancement again, it upgrades. Through negotiation and the sharing of meat, a wolf agrees to enter your service and serve as your mount.
9. Crow Gossip: Gain the speech of crows (if you don't already have it). Crows that you meet will tell you a rumour.
   ★ - Messenger Crow: If you roll this advancement again, it upgrades. By sharing a portion of your meat with a clever crow, they form a bond with you. The crow will carry messages for you over distances.
10. List of Grievances: Make a list of foes that have harmed or slighted you. You gain +1 to attack those named individuals. You can have as many people on the list as equal your Valour attribute (minimum 1). 
11. Looks Like Meat's Back on the Menu: At the end of the battle, if you were victorious, you may devour one of your fallen foes and reduce your damage taken by 1d6.
12. Chanter of Black Rites: When you chant, you can conjure phantoms of illusion that baffle the eyes of mortals. Elves are never tricked by these, but other folk may react as if they are true.
13. Cave Ambusher: You gain +2 to any test to set up an ambush while underground. Also, you gain +2 to your attacks during the first round of combat.
14. Indolent Effort: If you can't get a slave to do the task, you'll try and find a way to cut corners. Reduce the time to perform a particular task by 50% by taking 1d6 damage.
15. Where There's a Whip, There's a Way: If you spend a fast action driving and exhorting your fellows, all other goblins fighting with you gain +1 to attacks as well and +2 bonus to Morale.
16. Pitwright: You can forge items of enchantment.
★ -  Delighted by Explosions: If you roll this advancement again, it upgrades. You can now craft fireworks and bombs.
17. Oft Evil Shall Evil Mar: Once per day, after you've seen the result of a roll, you may push a nearby ally into a trap or attack that was going to hit you and have them take the effect instead.
18. Terrible Blow: You may choose to sunder the melee weapon you are wielding to gain a +4 attack bonus for the blow.
19. Revenger: You gain a +1 to attack anyone who has damaged you in combat. 
20. Eater of Foul Things: In a pinch, you can eat food that would make other folk sick: the flesh of speaking peoples, rotten meat, worms and vermin. 
21. Cowardly: Gain +2 Movement in combat if you are moving away from a foe.

22. Flatfooted and Bowlegged: Gain +2 Movement.  ★ - You may gain this advancement up to 3 times.

23. Slave Driver: When serving as the Guide, reduce damage from forced marches for those you in your company by -5 for the first day, -4 for the second day, -3 for the third day, and so on, until you can no longer reduce the strain. 
24. Forked Tongue: When you whisper, you can choose exactly who can hear you--them and no one else. When you shout, you can be heard clearly, even over the din of battle.
25. Sunblotter: When you deal a Critical Wound with an arrow, you may immediately make a second missile attack.
26. Bloodletter: Your taste for blood is preternatural, giving you insights that no one else can understand. You can identify different blood types (allowing you to give transfusions). You can identify who is and who isn't related to each other. If a target is bleeding, you can follow them like a hound.
27. Head Taker: Every enemy you kill during a combat increases the severity of Critical Wounds that you deal by one letter (from A -> B if you've killed 1 enemy, from A -> C if you've killed 2 enemies, etc.)
28. Besieger: Treat your Strength as +4 higher for maneuvers related to smashing down doors, climbing held castle walls, bending bars, or lifting gates. 
29. Poisoner: With a few minutes of sniffing and tasting, you can identify the effects of poisons that you encounter. 
    
★ -  Learned Harsh Lessons: If you roll this advancement again, it upgrades. You are resistant to poison damage.
30. Edge Grinder: By tending to your weapon and oiling it (costs 1 silver piece/6 marks), you may increase its damage dealt by +1. This bonus lasts until the end of a battle in which you deal damage; afterwards, you must care for it again.
31. Foul Curses: Once a week, you can say at least two rhyming couplets of foul poetry (calling down the wrath of the Night, listing vulgar names, inventing new disgusting epithets) to force the GM to reroll an attack or maneuver an NPC made.
32. Hauler: Add +4 to your Strength score for the purposes of your carrying capacity.
33. Black Legionnaire: Reduce the penalty from your worn armour to your Movement by an amount equal to your Strength score.
34. Unrelenting Hatred: If you would fall unconscious in combat from damage taken, test Strength ΔX, where X is your Endurance - Damage Taken. On a success, you remain conscious and active. This test must be repeated each round as long as your damage taken exceeds your Endurance.
35. Slinker: If you are ever in a position where you are trying to hide from observers, you may take 1d6 damage to find cover in an implausible (but not impossible) manner and hide in plain sight.
36. Sense Hatred: You can clearly identify rivalries and enmities between people. Additionally, if you spend at least an hour in the company of a group, you get a sense of any repressed discontentment. The GM will tell which characters have negative views of each other.
37. Haruspicy: You can spend an hour dissecting and inspecting the viscera of a bird to ask the GM: "If I do X, will Y happen?" You receive a “yes, ”“no,” or "maybe" answer by interpreting the signs at hand.
38. Bane of Elves: You deal +1 damage to elves. Keep a tally of how many elves you have killed. At 50 elves, this bonus increases to +2. At 200 elves, this bonus increases to +3.
39. Caution of Curses: If you spend an hour in contemplation of an artifact, the GM will tell you if there are any curses that lay on it and what manner they are.
40. Songs of the Night: When singing Songs of Power, you may choose to use your Skill attribute instead of Beauty.
41. Dwimmercrafty: You can tell how many charges or uses are left on a limited use item.
42. Wheeling and Dealing: You may use Skill instead of Beauty when trying to influence the reaction of characters when buying or selling, getting a bargain, and closing business deals.
43. Mind of Wheels and Engines: When you tinker with a machine, you may add some basic conditions to its functioning that follows an "If this, then that" pattern. For example, you could rig a trap with conditions like: "If triggered, then wait 30 seconds before firing" or "If stepped on by a goblin, then don't fire." 
44. Still Trouble the World: This virtue is only expressed when you fall in battle. After death, you will become a dark spirit and haunt the place where you fell, extending your hate after your death.
45. Canny to Hidey Holes: Once per day, you may ask the GM "Is there a secret door in my line of sight?" and receive an honest answer.
46. Tomb Robber: Once per day, you may ask the GM "Is there a hidden trap in my line of sight?" and receive an honest answer.
47. +1 Subtlety
48. +1 Strength
49. +1 Valour
50. +10  Endurance

(I usually make these d50 tables alphabetized to make it easy to read, but goblins are so chaotic I didn't bother.)

A note

One of the big reasons I started writing random advancement tables is so that I could update my most popular blog post, 1937 Hobbit as a Setting. Previously, that post linked out to random advancement options on a blog that I no longer want to give traffic to. I've updated the original blog post with the new links.

It's nice to have my own rules to replace them—and I hope they're useful to you! 

Stats as hammer, stats as nails

There's nothing revolutionary in this post, but I think it contains generally good advice and feels worthwhile articulating.

When an RPG gives you something generic, a player skill that enlivens your roleplaying is describing it in a non-generic way. Items are a great place to have fun with this idea.

Instead of a dagger, it's a "wavy dagger with a hilt shaped like a mushroom." 

You can "show, not tell" your character's backstory this way. Instead of a dagger, it's a dissection scalpel used in haruspicy, which is practiced by your people. Instead of a dagger, it's a dueling dirk you won the right to wear when you dueled your half-brother to death.

Here is a list of every item from the gear list in His Majesty the Worm with a few flavorful descriptions for each. 

Alchemy kit

• Cottage Witch Alchemy Kit: Wicker basket with scavenged ingredients stored in frog stomach pouches, cat skulls, and bat-wing purses. Your alchemy isn't "natural science," but a form of folk magic.

Animal feed

• Dog biscuits: Your mom baked these dog biscuits from leftover oats for your animal companion, Rufus.

Armor, light

• Retiarius Armor: The armor of the retiarius-type gladiator: heavy-linen arm guards and a leather shoulder piece. 
• Orc Woad Tattoos: Seablooded orcs favor writing protective runes in woad paint instead of bulky armor that will weigh them down if they fall overboard. 
• Beekeeper Suit: Thick robes and a wicker mask complete the beekeeper's signature apparel.

Armor, iron

• Immortal's Chainmail: A hauberk of chainmail stripped from the body of the eunuch "Immortal" warrior caste of Far-Away, brought as a curiosity by an antiquities trader and stolen early in your career.
• Alien Diving Suit: An extradimensional scientist tried to visit the plane of Flesh and constructed this suit of iron and rubber to survive our inhospitable conditions. He was killed by the inhospitable natives. It smells of ammonia.

Armor, steel

• House Mereswine's Platemail: A set of lobstered steel plate worn by cavalrymen in the guard of House Mereswine. It has a dolphin motif in keeping with their house sigil.

Bedroll

• Mummy Sleeping Bag: When you get in to your sleeping bag, you look like a real mummy--all wrappings and faux-Egyptology designs. 
• Owlbear Hide: You killed the owlbear in your first foray into the Underworld and kept the hide. You made a scratchy blanket out of it that you sleep in.

Bezoar

• Frog Throat Bezoar: The weird guy in the Omphalos Market that sold this to you claims it was from a giant frog. You're not sure you believe him.

Blank book

• Dwarf-Skin Book: An ogre bound this book in dwarf skin. Gross!
• Quipu Yarn: Elves sometimes use a woven language to help keep records. This collection of yarn is like a blank book--you'll weave your story together.

Booze

• Pirate's Hooch: Fermented in a pirate's peg leg, it's strong but nobody would call it good.
• Metheglin: This lavender-infused metheglin was made by your wife. It reminds you of home.

Caltrops

• Toy Soldiers: Your son played with these metal toy soldiers with bayonets that were so sharp they were practically real. You borrowed them for your expedition and throw them out as caltrops.

Candle

• Beeswax Candles: You harvested this beeswax yourself from your home hive. 
• Human-fat Candles: The rendered fat of a murderer went into this candle. It produces a foul, black smoke.

Chain

• Anchor Chain: A length of chain salvaged from a shipwreck that you survived. 
• Ball & Chain (-Ball): You wore this chain in the dungeon that you escaped from. You hammered off the heavy lead ball, but have found the chain useful to keep.

Chalk

• Student's Chalk: The chalk is cheap and quality is poor but it gets the job done. It's intended for students at the Madrasa in the City.

Clothes, rags

• Troll's Tunic: After a slime burned off all your clothes, you were forced to borrow a tunic from a troll friend. It's basically a dress on you. 

Clothes, common

• Ninja: A cool ninja outfit. 

Clothes, finery

Every character should have a signature hat. Seriously.

Click for more hats

Cooking gear

• Senshi's Shield: Once, this was your family's adamantine heirloom shield. But since you're a cook not a fighter, you reforged it into this wok! 

Crowbar

• Thief's Hand: This crowbar is flourished with an open hand.
• Crow Bar: This crowbar is flourished with a crow's head and beak motif.

Falconry gear

• Elven Hawker's Chemicals: Instead of leather tools such as lures, hoods, jessies, etc. to control the bird, elves use chemical compounds in small glass jars extracted from insects. One temporary blinds the hawk, one paralyzes its wings, one awakens its prey drive, etc.

Fishing gear

• Mermaid Hair Net: A mermaid wove this net from her own hair. It is festooned with little sea glass baubles.

Firewood

• Bonfire of the Vanities: This was once a statue of a blasphemous idol, smashed to bits by the axes of the Athleta Mythrii. It is right that such as blasphemy is now used for kindling.

Flint & tinder

• Sacred Firestarter: The shavings of the tinder were taken from fallen wood given by the hearttree of your village and soaked in sacred oil. The flint was harvested and blessed by a law-speaker.
• Tinder Fungus: Instead of carrying spark-makers, you carry live coals nested inside of tinder fungi. You have six of these.

Garlic

• Weird Bulb: The bulb looks like a weird old man's face! Isn't it uncanny?

Grappling hook

• Anchor: Your grappling hook is a repurposed anchor from a ship.

Hammer

• Coffin Maker's Hammer: This hammer's first owner was a coffin maker. It has driven many coffin nails. 

Hatchet

• Orcish Stone Hatchet: The earthblooded orcs still practice the patient art of stone working, including making stone hand tools like this hatchet. 

Helm

• Knight's Helm: Ahhh! The noble knight's helm! A close helmet festooned with a snail crest.
• Prisoner's Cage: Not a helmet at all, but a scold's bridle in fashion of a cage. Still, it might turn a blow.
• Thiollier's Mask: "A mask upon which is carved a tranquil sleeping face."

Really, helms are such an opportunity to play Fashion Souls.

Hermetic bottle

• Old Wine Bottles: You've sealed these old wine bottles pretty tight! They still have the labels on them.

Hourglass

• Novelty Hourglass: This hourglass is shaped like a woman with a real hourglass figure! It elicits groans and eyerolls from your guild mates.

Iron spike

• Crucifixion Nails: These spikes were nails pulled from the hands and feet of crucified criminals.

Lantern

• Medusa Lantern: Each side of the lantern is shaped like a medusa's face, mouth open in a monstrous scream.

Lard

• Scam Soap: This soap was sold by a merchant claiming that 1-in-20 bars had a gold coin inside! You hope this bar is one of the lucky ones!

Leeches

• Tiny Slimes: It's illegal to carry slimes into the City, but you find baby slimes to be much more useful than leeches at extracting small portions of blood from a sick patient.

Lockpicks

• Cat's Whiskers: This set of lockpicks are carried in a case with a winking, cartoonish cat. 
• Skeleton Keys: This brand of thieves tools is called "Skeleton Keys." Each pick is festooned with a smiling skull.

Manacles

• Mage's Cuffs: These iron cuffs clamp onto a sorcerer's wrists to stop them from casting spells. They are not linked together, so the sorcerer still has the use of their hands and arms. 

Mirror

• Saintly Relic: This broken mirror fragment is said to be a shard of St. Jason's famous mirrored shield.

Musical instrument

• Dwarven Carnyx: This tall horn is shaped like a boar and makes a clear, piercing note that can be heard for a mile or more.
• Halfling Panpipes: These panpipes have a false reed that can be used to carry a long-shanked tobacco pipe. 
• Underfolk Common Hymn Book: A collection of traditional Underfolk songs sung at traditional times: births, deaths, weddings. 

Oil

• River Whale Oil: The river whales that live in the River Grey near the City are hunted for their oil and other byproducts. In the City, river whales are associated with death and dreams. Parents tell children that burning a lamp of whale oil will banish their nightmares. 
• Mushroom Oil: Piggy of the Cave is a favored mushroom of Underfolk: its meaty texture provides welcome variety in their diet. It can also be rendered into a smoky-burning oil.

Pick

• Dwarven Mattock: A heavy mattock written with Ancient Underfolk runes reading: WHO'S YOUR DADDY?

Pipe & Pipeweed

• Carven Pipe: A long ornate pipe carved to look like an old sea-captain smoking (recursively) a corncob pipe.

Or, imagining that the pipe is a *feature* of His Majesty the Worm that simply allows you to remove Stress for the cost of a pack slot, you can recast this to be a variety of consumable items.

• Bubble Bath: The dungeon is a smelly place. Taking a bubble bath lets you regain a measure of composure and center yourself.
• Brain Licorice: A candy made of dried brain jellies and anise. Eating it smooooothes away the wrinkles.

Pole, 10'

• Shepherd's Crook: A shepherd's crook made of olive wood, especially long, with a nice crook at the end.
• Lamplighter's Snuffer: A basic 10' long bronze and pewter candle snuffer from the Lamplighter's Guild.
• Finglonger: What would it be like if I invented the finglonger?

Poultice

• Prayer Flags: The bandages are linen strips made from prayer flags, each with a calligraphed prayer. 
• Elven Mummy: Extracted from an elven sarcophagus by their direct descendants in a process called Reclaiming, the mummy's wrappings and ground-up flesh are used as medicines. 

Quill & Ink

• Clerical Illumination Tools: A teak wood writing case with tools for illuminating coded books of the Mythraic Mysteries: horsehair bush, knife to scrape the paper, sand to dry the ink, and jars of black, gold, and red inks. 
• Gnomish Librarian's Invisible Inks: A quill from a hoopoe bird and invisible inks (only legible under the moon or stars). 

Rations

• Human Rations: Wicker basket of rations containing: flat bread, olives, pickled cucumbers, dried figs, hard cheese, honey comb, and sausage. 
• Underfolk Rations: Wax paper bundle containing: travel biscuits, carrots, mushrooms, mushroom chutney, dried apple, mole jerky, and piece of toffee. A jug of wine (for dwarves) or tea (for halflings and trolls) included.
• Fay Rations: Clay jar, fire-ready, with a stew of horse meat, succotash, and beans. Corn cakes wrapped separately. 
• Orc Rations: Banana leaf wrapped around: clay jar of barley and oat porridge, clay jar of goat's milk yogurt, pickled herring, and smoked whale jerky.

Religious paraphernalia

• Portable Shrine: A tiny desk with an embedded icon of the Hierophant, a candle holder, and an attached rosary. 
• Stone Idol of Rng: A crudely carved stone face painted half white and half black. 

Rope

• Handkerchiefs: A rope made out of brightly-colored handkerchiefs tied tightly together. 

Salt

• Mined Salt: A wooden box shaped like a dwarven grandmother filled with quarried salt.

Shield

• Church Door: Wielded by a troll, this shield was once the door into the Fane of the Heresiarch. 
• Pickle-Barrel Lid: Wielded by a halfling, this shield is just the round top of a pickle barrel with a handy little handle. It is painted with a bright sun as a heraldic device. 

Shovel

• Gnomish Archaeologist Shovel: The Archaeologist Society within the Court of Redcaps issues this small shovel to its members to help excavate artifacts from stones and soil.

Spyglass

• Opera Glasses: Extreme opera glasses, for watching the play from the tippy top of the nosebleeds.

Tent

• Knight's Pavilion: This brightly-colored tent is emblazoned with the your heraldry--a knight jousting atop a noble snail. 

Tinker's kit

• Grandpa's Tackle Box: A metal boxed inherited from your grandfather. It once held fishing lures, but now holds all sorts of tools and odds and ends: cut pieces of wood, putty, nails, pliers, lengths of wire, etc. 

Torch

• Wedding Torch: Your bride left you standing at the altar, but her family already paid for all these torches. Might as well use 'em. 
• Juggling Torch: These were made by Flavius the Clown, the premier torch juggler of the City. 

Wand of archwood

• Thunderbolt: The archtree was split by lightning. This wand has a thunderbolt design to commemorate the event. Blasts of magic from it have a lightning-like aspect.

Weaponry

• Bearded Axe: The axe is literally bearded: it's shaped like an orcish face with a long, beautiful beard as the blade.
• Sword of the Torturer's Guild: This heavy blade is intended to take heads. As such, it has no point. It has two sharp edged sides: one for slaying men, one for slaying women. A vein of quicksilver in the blade gives overhanded swings extra weight.
• Elven Bow: A bow of yew strung with a single golden elf hair.
• Magnetic Morningstar: This morning star is not connected by a chain. Instead, the spiked ball seems to "orbit" the handle.

Wolfsbane

• Aspergillum of Wolfsbane: An aspergillum of mountain water infused with wolfsbane. In the event of a lycanthrope, you can anoint the beast with the water.